Monday, May 24, 2010

The Unbearable Lightness of Carpet.

I work in an office with an unhappy carpet.

Never before have I seen a carpet that that is so obviously not a Carpet, but a carpet. It is a carpet in what I have suddenly realised is my least favourite colour ever, which is pale beige. Pale beige is not so much a colour as what is left when you scrub colour away and leave behind only musty memories of spilt coffees and free weekends.

A pale, watery dirt coloured carpet watching us all, accounting for every coffee spilt and plotting revenge for every stab by an Aldo-heel attached to a Performance-Bonus-shoe.

A foreshadowing over all who walk over it.

I do love to be dramatic to no purpose at all.

I spent one entire evening sitting by myself at M.Drive. I was not sitting there alone by design - although it strikes me now that it would be infinitely cooler to claim as much - but by compulsion. I was critically contemplating my abnormal toes and eating a bad batch of masala peanuts, and I was sulking that I had no company. Company was either working in Bangalore, or holidaying in Bangalore, and Company that was not orbiting Bangalore was not prepared to fulfil its duty as Company, because apparently, it wanted to sleep (I'm looking at you.)

If anyone wants to meet me on Sundays, please do. I will eat at my cost and talk for free. If you are rich, please considering sponsoring the accommodation and education of an overworked and underfed Cog in a corporate Wheel. At least until she figures out a method to get to her home that does not involve taxis.

In other words, I was abandoned, and in line with glorious tradition, I was fully prepared to revel gloriously in selfpity, and so I did. I revelled in a bed of peanuts and sticky candy, and then I took a bus home.

I like the Mumbai I see when I walk towards Churchgate station at night. I like the long stretches of empty Marine Drive and the tired men walking out of Nariman Point with the day's BSE/Nifty high marked in their eyes and the lines on their foreheads. I like the sliver of warm yellow light I can see peeking from behind the door at Not Just Jazz By the Bay, hinting deliciously at crowds of mildly drunk friends making lovely double-visioned memories behind it. I like every single cab driver whose cab I have ever been in, and I know, without exception, the why-I-came-to-Mumbai story of each one of them.

I'm almost afraid to admit it, but I think I detect just the faintest beginning of a like for the local trains also. I think. Colour me shocked.

Bombay makes me happy, and I don't even like wearing skirts, but I'm wearing them just because I can, because it's Bombay. :)


agent green glass said...

you like the trains. leave, go back home now. before you get any worse...and start loving the smell of stinky armpits and garbage heaps in the monsoon.
And the grey carpet. It reminds me of my earlier office. I suspect it once it had been blue or even red. And now its mother wouldn’t recognise it.
And Sundays. Why Sundays? I’m up for meeting on a Saturday. Drop me a mail ms. spaz kumari. We can make friendships.

Divya said...

Aye how much I entertained you when I was done orbiting Bangalore. I go unappreciated. Hmph. I duly sulk.

You can't help loving the Bombay locals, though you really REALLY haven't seen how bad it can actually get. You got lucky yesterday. When, ahem, I spent all day with you. Abandoned it seems. Pah.

Mudra said...

Why not Saturdays? And dude. I like the trains too! I love them on public holidays. On other days I just like them.

Have you shopped in causeway yet? Pliss do.

WV: dingl.

Roy said...

trains are best experienced on a monday evening during rush hour. please check them out

Spaz Kumari said...

@AGG - i think the love is because i travelled on a late sunday afternoon with my legs stretched out over the seat :) that mode of travel is v much sesky indeed. and i will certainly sendoff one email as soon as i locate your ID.

@divi - i don't know about loving the locals except for the sense of freedom they give you in terms of travel..also, this post is dedicated to your thoughtless abandonment of me. Next instalment will be about your making restitution for the same ;)

@mudra - arey i work saturdays ya... usually till 10 ish. :( although not to any epic extent. BUT i also went to Leo's and Mondy! :) Mondy cheered me up, I love mario miranda. Lastly, word of advice - never google dingleberry. Serious.

@Roy - could you hate me any more.

Divya said...

Really? Legs stretched out? In what you were wearing? :D :D

Perakath said...

Hi! I am Nariman Point. I would loves to meet with you and AGG (who is my friend on FB but whom I have never met-- I am Stalker that way).

My email id is on my blog which is not on Blogspot but is linked to on my Blogger profile.

Mudra said...

Dude, I went to Leo and Mondy's on Saturday! What the hell. Anyway, yes, okay but this Sunday will not happen either because it is my parents' anniversary and all that jazz, so now we have to put it off to the Sunday after that. :(

soin said...

the mumbai trains are as yuck as the car drive through the small space between the usman road flyover and pothys during the saturday 7pm.and mumbai la work? you will land up with a psbb boy there

Sumira Khan said...

There is something so 'me' in this post, it makes me wanna weep. Mostly because it would be me something like 8 years ago... with a toddler and baby on the way, I don't have the liberty of soaking in the wonders of Marine Drive all by myself. *sigh* Girl, you just made me feel like a dinosaur. *glare* And I kind of love the trains too. :) You can count on me for company if you ever get this crazy and bizarre urge to entertain a 2-year-old and a moody pregnant woman.

Fuck spastics said...

2 mintues of my life that I can never get back. Jeez go die already.

PS: you suck enormous balls.

Spaz Kumari said...

@divi - a dress of course. ;)

@mudra - yeah i'm kinda in a rush this weekend too. next sunday for sure.

@soin - i have no doubt at all that you're right.

@sumira - persons of all descriptions welcome, as long as they're remotely entertaining. :) This weekend is full up with work, but why not soon after?

@rude ramalingam - ...balls that you wish you had? :)

narendra shenoy said...

Welcome to Mumbai, city of dreams and the occasional nightmare. If your olfactory cells are in good order, most of suburban train Mumbai can be identified by smell (or stink, if you are a stickler for the mot juste). For instance, approaching Bandra from Mahim you would smell middle note poop with a hint of rotting fruit and light notes of matured urine.

Right, as I was saying, welcome and yell out, if you need any assistance, to shenoy.n at gmail

kumar said...

u lucky bitch..!! have fun ;)
u can wear skirts in bangalore also ok... its only in chennai that u cant :P

kumar said...

one suggestion: go to crawford market n try roadside eateries or have chai/ vada pav at old iranian cafes.. hey also u can do ur favourite "roadside shopping" also der..:P ..
(PS: m so jealous of u...grrrr.. i hope it starts raining in mumbai n ders water everywhere :P,)

iyer girl said...

i hate that ure in bombay and im not.. can i send u flowers? so that u can deliver them to the other lawyer working in marine drive? (im so useless).. and i think that carpet is cool

tripti said...

love this that you love bombay. ;)

Punvati said...

Aiyo. Shreya. Your loue is all over the internet. Bombay boy is gonna stumble upon it sooner or later. :P

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Yay Mumbai!

I love anything and everything about Mumbai... Although I visit it only one or twice a year...

This post made me feel refreshed

RukmaniRam said...

mumbai. malaad. maalaadu.

(Sorry, that's a connection I always make. Also, can I link to your blog from mine? surely you don't mind some link love?)

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Good entertaining post.

Himanshu said...

pretty nice