Sunday, August 17, 2008

Chipps, Conspiracy, Creepy Giggler.

Uncle Chipps (plain salted kind) are getting thicker!! Not one or two, gentlemen, but packs and packs! And packs and packs and packs!

My survey, completely objective and wholly in the interest of the Uncle Chipps-eating-fraction-of-the-population (larger than you think, you Lays-eating snob), has led to my being absolutely convinced that someone, somewhere, in Village Channo (Punjab), Ranjangaon (Pune) or Kendua Panchayat (West Bengal) - depending on how far you trust the back flap of an Uncle Chipps packet and your personal regionalistic preferences- is sleeping on their job.

I demand my rights as a consumer. (Sindhu will no doubt elucidate the nature of these rights on her highly lawyerly and intelligent blog, adequately supported/opposed/i'm-not-sure-exactly-what-he-does, by Markiv. You will, no, Sindhu? :-D )

Anyway. Uncle Chipps. Someone call Quality Control and sue their asses. How can I work when my primary nourishment is substandard.

If my mom is reading this: not that this is my nourishment, you understand...that's just to kid with the masses....I drink milk twice a day and also eat fruit. I sleep from 10pm to 6.45am. I also braid my hair to class, and remember to pour the oil film out of the oily dal tadka in the mess before I eat it.

PS: Big Daddy exits stage Left, enter Creepy Giggler. It is to be noted that Creepy Giggler is in a relationship of (sufficient cordiality to reasonably infer) friendship, with Facepack. For this criminal lack of taste/judgment alone she should be beaten across the head, slowly, with a Pollock and Mulla on the Law of Contracts, until she begs for mercy in three languages.

Yes, I have not had much sleep recently. Your point being?


Hakuna Matata said...

I love the P.S.(Almost an) I love you. :D

and.... **bows

Mark IV said...

does increasing thickness of primary nourishment have a psychological linkage with increasing thickness of nourishee?

actually no... out of chips.
unless u count chip ahoy that is...


indiegurl said...

@hakuna: eheheh...let us keep our (almost) private affairs private only ma... ;)

@markiv: it most certainly does not. Thick chips are annoying...they should be thin and crisp. The thicker the chip, the lesser the attraction, the lesser the ingestion.

And I like chip ahoy ya! :) But there, you see, the thicker the better...

Comfortably Numb said...

I only love the masala uncle chips. Anyways if there are any thoughts in your mind about suing these people then please do. Quality of all the chips will not be substandard anymore :P