Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Keeping Up with the Cojones-es.

They say when your life is in imminent danger, it flashes before your eyes. I only swallowed much muddy Sutlej and energetically kicked a rock. I have the beautifully purpling bruises to show for it. My life did not flash before my eyes, unfortunately. If I had only remembered at the time that this was supposed to happen, I would have concentrated more on it. The idea is definitely interesting... I would finally find out if that boy I lusted after in class eight was indeed more important to me than my winning the math proficiency prize that term.

I have sometimes been called a nerd. I don't mind... always been attracted to nerds anyway.

What is almost as interesting as the rafting itself is to watch the other Gujarati family in the raft fiercely compete with your own in rafting prowess. Who gets to sit up in front, right in the Mouth of Danger? Jethalal or dad? Who can make more ineffectual-splashes-per-minute with an oar? Savitaben or mom? Family-group expeditions are always such wholesome, family-friendly episodes of do you have the Cojones, losers? So very Yum, no? :)

If you're Gujarati, these are all pseudonyms. What? What was that? Yes, I rather do enjoy regionalist-stereotyping actually. 

Now that I have river-rafted, I only have paragliding, bungee jumping, rock climbing and doing several, mostly illegal things to Gael Garcia Bernaz, left on my bucket list. To all of you sceptics: I am perfectly aware of the possibility that some of these ambitions may not reach fruition. I have doubts about my capabilities as a rock climber. See? I am firmly in touch with reality.

I watched craploads of television on that darling big tv in that lovely big chain-hotel in Shimla. It has been five months since I last watched TV. Why, you idiots, did none of you tell me about Coupling? What a very excellent show... in my more spazzed out moments, I simply watch it to hear them say 'bottoms' in that BBC accent.  Is it only me, or does the word 'bottoms' immediately bring to mind my (or generic, really) great-aunt's admittedly respectable but sadly unexciting posterior? It just cannot describe a young and pretty bum, can it.

The multiplex strike confused me. Then I read Filmfare on the Kalka-Shimla narrow gauge, and everything was immediately Light. Now I am only annoyed at the multiplex strike. I am growing very suspicious at the Tamil film industry. The same songs that were playing on the radio when I left for college two years ago, are still being played. Everyone I confront regarding this abomination gets all shifty eyed and mumbles something about a multiplex strike. I have decided to frequent that antiquity, the single-screen theatre, to check whether tamil films are still being made. I very much Doubt It. I am a Doubting Divya. I am a Deadly Dastardly Doubting Divya. 

I bought four very decent and very large gravy-stuffed bun thingies and one disgusting but large chocolate pastry for sixty rupees from a posh baker on Shimla's Mall Road. If that's what posh costs in Shimla, I will grow two more chins and grey stubbly chin-hair and live like an Angrezi Mem in one of those delicious cake-like cottages. I would also wear brown tweeds, but they are remarkably unsexy. I am not talking about the New Styles in tweeds. An Angrezi Mem would not wear pink silk bustiers with tweed miniskirts. That's Just Not Cricket, luv.

One more year of law school down; I am no closer to knowing what I want to do at the end of it. Sometimes I shrug and think I may as well become a lawyer. That would be such an anticlimax though, no?

Ah well.

PS: I now have six followers. Such cheap thrills I am having I tell you. 


Anonymous said...

Well, I personally wish the strike continues. A much needed respite from more Krazy 4s and Dostanas.
Fight! Fight! Fight!

Mudra said...

LOL... One of your funnier ones. :D

another brick in the wall said...

great.. there that idiot is jumping from towers in Bordeaux.. here you are river rafting.. then some ppl leave from work early and enjoy beers at leopolds.. and here i sit for eternity in office, work and crib like a lady stressed by PMS.. unfair!

indiegurl said...

@virus - arey! today's bad movies are tomorrow's representative pop culture ya. respect.

@mudra - and here i was talking about being in the Lap of Fear and the Mouth of Danger! (but thankyou. shy is coming. :) )

@sukrit - haha yeah i read that post! too cool no? i also start work in a few days, no worries.

Divya said...

@Indiegurl- You are a rip off (DDD Divya) but I love you :D. Do not forget your impending divorce and our soon to come wedding. Full maala around neck and all. Brown tweeds and chin hair notwithsanding :D As it is you like my young and pretty bum and hit it more often than I would quite like you to :P

And what full drama.. Atleast you know you want to do law-ish things. And get the marks to boot. Shee. Shameless.

@Brick- You ALWAYS suffer from PMS. and you always will! My Leopold experience or these adventurous losers (am jealous.. fine!) has nothing to do with it :P

ramsub said...

I haven't read the post, but you went rafting?
I went rafting too..... :D

Divya said...

lucky bums :P

ramsub said...

Raft-mates are always fun to observe. On this trip we had these three middle aged guys (where from? Heaven knows, I can't make out these things for the life of me thus diminishing my capacity to enagage in regional stereotyping) who refused to join in with the rowing forget about starting a competition. They stayed rooted in their places and showed the most energy and spirit when screaming out Ganga Mata Ki Jai periodically.

As for coupling, can I take credit for having introduced you to it? I think I did. I must have.

ramsub said...

Gael Gracia Bernaz? Is he as cute as Gael Garcia Bernal?

indiegurl said...

@ramsub - yes he is and point taken :)