Sunday, August 22, 2010

An Excellent Argument for One Paracetamol and Eight Hours.

The nights are too warm. It sounds like Mister Jaipur-wala DJ is playing Justin Beiber feat Imran Khan and one, two, five, twenty, fifty five people are dancing dancing dancing to it. I look up and the sky is orange. They say there's no pollution here, but I do believe that half the Indian desert is suspended in the air. Red sand, red moon, dark blue sky. And I look down and it's Justin Beiber. A night like this and it should be Yann Tiersen. But law school is never what is should be, law school is always inappropriate; you sit back and laugh in disbelief and affection - if you are old - and simply in disbelief - if you are new. Old, young, young, old.

Never is the line between youth and cynicism so obvious as on Freshers' Party Night. First come the young ones, the fresh ones. Their faces are washed and their moustaches are bleached, so cute. Their ties are tied. Eight o' clock, nine o' clock, ten o' clock and the dance floor is filled with the cream of joyous undergraduate youth dancing away, powered by little more than alcohol and optimism, although I'm feeling kindly tonight, so it'll be only optimism then.

Law school parties are a cheap investment; the rich harvest of gossip that they produce is well worth the cost of a Jaipuri DJ and a sound system. The posters and other fripperies are probably best appreciated by those not contributing to the making of such gossip. Sometimes I seriously consider abandoning all pretence and converting this blog wholesale into an anonymous law school gossip blog. Perhaps throw in something about myself as well, which is the closest I'm ever going to get to being a Bad Girl. A gossip blog, yay!

But if you follow that thought to its logical end, you'll wish you hadn't followed that thought to its logical end, for all gossip has at its crux either lust or alcohol, and usually alcohol fueled lust. One libidinous misadventure in the shadows on that side, and the awkward initiations of a first romance on this side. But tonight, here in this sweaty neon Daler Mehndi-themed moment, how is one to tell the difference? How?

Even in gossip, one must be fair.

I used to want to play the part of the ideological rebel and dis parties as part of that plan, when I realised that I did not have an ideology to go with the plan of dissing parties. I simply do not like parties for no fancy reason, and there is no getting around that. So I am doing what I like to do and sitting on the off side of the dance floor, inconspicuously eating boiled corn and watching the parade of high heels trip down the sand and lodge themselves in sticky mud. The zenith of a college romance is having your boyfriend pull your heel out of sludge, aw, so cute.

I feel nothing.

Come, rest your feet, collapse on the grass, the food is bad. But that's okay because no one is really tasting it tonight. The move from smoky shadows to harsh tubelights is a little disorienting. The chowmein is hosting a housefly dinner party. The bhaji has congealed but the pao is still fried and crisp. Come to me, fatty goodness. Come to mama.

It's past midnight and the sky is so black it's purple. Shoes are coming off and feet are slowing down. Foundation has caked on your face; I must say the middle of your forehead is positively glowing tonight, darling. Lipstick has left the corners of your mouth and oddly stains just the middle of your lower lip - you, do you know you look like a burlesque star? Dita von Teese, tadka laga ke. Tee hee, tee hee.

Everything is just so funny tonight. I play act, I am commentator to my own life - Spaz Kumari sharing the box with Nameless Mangy Cur:

SK: The air is charged with anticipation! Will the creepy seniors make a move on unsuspecting freshers or won't they?

NMC: roots about energetically in the dustbin

SK: The creepy seniors are leading by an advantage of several years! What chances do you give the young 'uns, Cur?

NMC - gets head stuck in a cardboard box and falls about confusedly


I'm suddenly tired. Off to bed.



Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

Very good lines:
"you sit back and laugh in disbelief and affection - if you are old - and simply in disbelief - if you are new."

"Even in gossip, one must be fair."

"I used to want to play the part of the ideological rebel and dis parties as part of that plan, when I realised that I did not have an ideology to go with the plan of dissing parties."

"The zenith of a college romance is having your boyfriend pull your heel out of sludge"

"The chowmein is hosting a housefly dinner party"

Detached curiosity provides an excellent vantage point :)

Pringle Man said...

Hey, I'd love to sit off side and have congealed pao bhaji with you.

Nun MC said...

Very good words:
'uns, (which incidentally, is one of Gulzar's favorite words)

Very good punctuation marks:
the hyphen between Jaipur and wala.
the apostrophe after 'Freshers'.
and god that exclamation mark after 'yay'; you've got some serious game, sister.

i kid, of course. brilliant post.

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

:)@Nun MC

soin said...

and with this your dedicated fan club is going to increase exponentially.also i sense mabbu. but looks like you are mabbu all the

Spaz Kumari said...

@karthik - thank you, and yes it does! I'm good at being detachedly curious. Everything else takes too much effort.

@pringle man - sure, but I call dibs on the extra pao. :)

@Nun MC - you missed 'clock' and 'o''. I think 'o'' has a certain cachet that the others just lack.

I kid, of course. The post is uniformly brilliant. ;)

@soin - my dedicated fanclub is composed solely of my incestuous hostelmates. The only way my fanclub will grow is if they put on weight. As for mabbu... yaar yaara paathu enna solradhu nu oru vevasthaye illama pocha? :)

soin said...

adingu waatha idhellam overu. i dont put mubbu more than once a month. that the tamizh telugu english and mayan calenders dont agree with each other is not my mistake. globalisation i blame. fucking un

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

@spaz: I posted comments on a couple of really old posts of yours. I'm not sure if you receive notification. Have you seen 'em? Asking because I need to delete one of 'em after you see it :|

Spaz Kumari said...

@karthik - i saw them all just now. Comments on posts older than a couple of weeks automatically wait for moderation; i've published the other two comments and have saved the one you're referring to without publishing it. I'll read the link and respond, glad to know you think I was on the right track!

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

@spaz: Excellent. I just wished to know you'd read it, especially since you were so forthcoming in seeking a discussion on the subject. Please just delete the comment once you've read it. Cheerio.