Friday, June 15, 2007

There are some days...

Ye Gads and little fishes! Can a girl be not left alone to just simply think, sometimes? Be quiet? Alone?

Oh, but 'alone' is definitely a problem. You cannot say the a-word without the place suddenly becoming absolutely pill/razor/even-vaguely-sharp-thing(figuratively) free and your parents adopting funny worried expressions and making subtle hints in the form of we-are-always-there-for-you-in-the-event-of-any-kinda-trouble dinner-time speeches, that often end in awkward expectant silences that expect me to come up with stunning revelations, and fall, sobbing, on supportive parental breast. Often I have been tempted, out of the kindness of my heart, to save them from disappointment and announce that I am pregnant; the only drawback is that in such event I would have to produce the other contributor to my productivity, and I cannot think of any one person amongst my considerable set of male friends who would be willing to volunteer to be so honoured.

In case you're wondering, actual event: "What happened? Why'd you all shut up? Is there anymore lemon pickle?"

Also, I have always preferred my own company to others', and my family is used to the sight of me staring vacantly out of the window, non-responsive to calls/yells/insults. Familiarity with given scene doesn't prevent them from making pointless, not least repetitive enquiries into it, though. And since, most of the time, I begin with thinking random thoughts, and let them lead to other thoughts, and just basically 'watch' from a third-person standpoint, the flow of randomness( or specificity, whichever direction my mind has agreed to take out of its vacuum), there isn't much to tell curious askers. I mean, I could attempt to do so, but:
1. I don't have the patience
2.If I did, my family would dismiss it halfway as "Satkeli hai"
3.I would agree with them, which would do nothing for my ego
4.I prefer my ego healthy, ergo
5.I don't tell my family.

So, almost on reflex, when asked "What are you thinking of?", or "What have you been talking about for one and a half hours on the phone?", I answer, "Nothing..", and bang!:
"Why are you so moody these days?"
"Am not.""Yes you are."
"What ok?"
"What ok ok? Ok I'm moody!"
"Now you're getting mad."
"Am not."
"Damn right you are.."
"All right."
"All right what?"
"All right I'm getting mad."
"What for?"
"Will you leave me alone?"
"THIS is what I meant."
"So I agreed with you, didn't I?"
"Don't YOU get fresh on me, young lady..."
"What ok ok for everything? Retarded or what?"
"Ok you're right. Yeah, I'm retarded. I also want to be alone. Will you please leave a poor mental case alone, then?"
"Oh my god, Divya, I don't know what to do with you these days!"
"Join the club."

There are some days...


Mudra said...

Lol!! Yeah, I need my "blank time" too, when I won't be bothered by anyone. Somehow if you happen to be sitting at a place and not doing anything (visibly) people begin to think you're on the verge of suicide or something, dude!

But try this on your family (it works with mine) - "I'm just having a quiet day. Talk to you tomorrow." :)

indiegurl said...

My family'd grin and nudge each other and laugh "Quiet day, she says she's having" and make intended 'unintended' noises as they walk past, and my mom'd look at me for a minute and say "That's what you think. Today, my girl, is clean-up-room day."

So much for familial support... :)

amrit said...

Oh my God Divya, I don't know what to do with you these days! :P

indiegurl said...

@amrit: Join the club :D

Nivethitha said...

now really divya..all of us jus dunno wat 2 do wid ya dese days..but lady,u musta had a loooooooong blank period once,coz ur mom seemd damn concernd(bugged??) n was trying 2 fish around 2 make me open my ottai vai..but i held it dis time..
n neways,u shud try dis..jus go in2 ur room,lock it n play music in an adjacent room so loud dat every1 else thinks ur lisning 2 for me,but dats mebe oz no1 takes d effort 2 come upstairs 2 check