Sunday, July 12, 2009

The One with the Halfhearted Chocolate and the Morally Upright Parakeet.

White chocolate icecream with hot coffee syrup snaking black, sticky trails of awesomeness all over it. I am not really a dark chocolate person anymore, I think. To truly be a dark chocolate person requires just a soupcon more snobbery than I feel capable of at this moment. At the moment, I am not feeling capable of much more than a languid sort of snobbery. I am not feeling capable of much more than a general sort of languidity at all, actually. The comparison I am trying to draw is between a ferociously active 24x7 Queen-Mother sort of snobbery ("WE are ROYALTY. We look like HAW-ses, go to EE-ton and pet our CAW-gis") as opposed to a half-hearted, minor-English-aristocrat brand of snobbery ("I'm sorry dah-ling, we only do snobbery from two to four on Tuesday evenings, could you please go away now so we can bathe our temples in Eau d'Cologne, lie gracefully on our French chaise and have our aristocratic afternoon headache in peace.") . I now subscribe to the latter school of thought. More energy-saving, I find. It is to reason, then, that I enjoy white chocolate better now. Also, I prefer Milkybars to Lindt Blanche Truffles. Thus do the great fall, eh?

White chocolate, incidentally, is a thing after my own languid heart. It is so halfheartedly chocolate that it isn't even chocolate.

Outside, the sky is a sharp, clear blue. The air is cold and crisp. The grass is green. There are puddles everywhere. I spent a significant portion of my morning personally paying my respects to each individual puddle. I am now left with itchy calves and feet, and a pair of boxer shorts resplendent with grass stains and high caste Rajput mud. That is, I think Rajputs are high caste.

Company Law, I think, is beyond my understanding. The professor tends to bandy words like 'debentures' and 'equity' with an ease that is frankly frightening. I had an earnest discussion on the topic this morning with a delightfully green parakeet. While the specifics of his opinion escaped my comprehension, I concluded that he felt strongly on the issue by the explosive manner in which he shed a hundred bright green feathers when I asked him, and followed it up promptly with a rather forceful poop on the local tree branch. Having metaphorically expressed his opinion of insider trading thus, he flew away with silent dignity. I have a new respect for parakeets, those chaps do understatements rather well.

Birds remind me, Hark! I believe I am hearing the soft and distinctive call of that rare and elusive species, the Carpenteris Jodhpurus. I quietly open my door. I see his earthy plumage. I shall slink off and attempt to trap him forthwith, with the aid of my indisputable charm and whiny voice. I have a shelf that lost its battle with gravity six months back, that needs to be restored immediately.

A wooden shelf, I meant.

A wooden bookshelf.

Perverts.

How much I am loving you all. :)

Ta.

13 comments:

another brick in the wall said...

okay first.. you seriously have some obscure titles to your posts man!

"I'm sorry dah-ling, we only do snobbery from two to four on Tuesday evenings, could you please go away now so we can bathe our temples in Eau d'Cologne, lie gracefully on our French chaise and have our aristocratic afternoon headache in peace."

hahaha.. wtf :D

"Company Law, I think, is beyond my understanding"
I'm willing to wholeheartedly extend my help

shelf, rack.. same thing.. why perverts? [imagine innocent eyes reading this post]

JD said...

respect.
also, rotf.

narendra shenoy said...

ROFL! Oh, awfully enjoyable!

indiegurl said...

@suk - arre! but my post was REALLY about said halfhearted chocolate and morally upright parakeet! the parakeet disapproved of insider trading for chrissake. Also re company law help, AWESOME. plis to invite me off on gtalk no. My name is my id. I must intellectually exploit you. and yeah, why would you bother being perverted, you are already aware which way i swing ;)

@JD - thanks, boss. :)

@shenoy saar - dash it, i'm awfully chuffed :D

Mudra said...

LOL. Hey. Ask me for Company Law help. I don't know much, but I do know a little more than you. Bloody CA.

Awesome post, again. :)

PS - How could you like white chocolate?

another brick in the wall said...

that is when you start talking to wikipedia

and intellectual exploitation of a person is tough when his vocab [and intellect?] is limited to "wtf".. so all the best

thank god.. i am relieved to know you are not judging me.. finally, don't we all like to appreciate beautiful racks?

Hakuna Matata said...

1. Damn you for the status msg - making me have chocolate fantasies when I should have been doing my International law synopsis.

me: KOLAI VIZHUM SOLLITEN
ipdi ellam status msg potena
(Murder shall happen, if like this status message you put)

Dibba: but that is my favourite flavour :(

me: :P

Dibba: and my favourite oily snack :(

me: do u hav it?

Dibba: AND I WANT IT I WANT IT AND I WANT IT

me: no.

Dibba: NOWNOWNOWNOW
ok
need not rub it in
you know for ten full minutes
i have been googling recipes for making coffee syrup :D

me: :P

Dibba: i suck.
ok.


2. Ur finally getting a rack? :D

indiegurl said...

@mudra - thanks, ya. will do. And, I have not the foggiest. Odd no?

@suk - 'course we do. Divi has a rather hot one by the way. Upright, very well shaped, lovely contours in general. And rather sturdy also. :D You should take a look sometime. I'll show you, ok? Ok.

@sindhu - sigh... i think i must learn to display all my racks to better advantage.

Divya said...

Dibba.. stop talking about my rack behind my back.

Suk- ignore dibba. all sour grapes and all you know.. though she very graciously shows off her newly acquired rack to all and sundry due to the brilliant absence of a certain safety pin... Good times I must say.. what, Dibba? :D

Oh also, we all looove jelly don't we? :D :D :D

Also, people, it was too funny yesterday when she walked into my room and with an expression of glee on her face exclaimed "A parakeet projectile pooped at me", and immediately followed that up by "It was totally awesome" This is what comes of speaking about a dozen things in the same sentence :P

indiegurl said...

@divi - rack behind back, eh? That must be uncomfortable. :D

As the Mind Meanders said...

You languid snob you... LOL

Well... enjoy your afternoon headache in peace after the carpenter hammers away and fixes the the shelf.

I think the poor parakeet pooped on the 'local' tree branch (now...where does one find more of those) in disgust... Not many parakeets are spoken to in whiny voices about company law... The shriek coupled with the high caste rajput rains must have given him an itchy and painful unmentionable...

I loved this post... You are an exceptional writer... and you disguise it well with humour...

Kartik Menon said...

The more I read, the better I like your quirky blog...Keep up the good work :D

KM

revelsign said...

lol.

i've been wandering around blogs (okay, just this and the food one) being amused. and lazy. very lazy. but very sincerely amused, really.

so that's what you get:

lol.
carpenteris jodhpuris. a truly elusive creature. let's go hunting one day, bag us one o' those. yes?